The Right Moment
by lifeluver
Summary: You watch him leave this time, instead of the other way around, but still at your doing and your heart breaks just a little bit more.


A/N- This story popped into my head while I was listening to Cool by Gwen Stefani. It doesn't really have much to do with the song, but I thought I would give it credit anyway. This is kind of a sad story, but I hope you enjoy anyway. It was also written kind of late at night, so it's probably not the best edited.

DISCLAIMER- I own nothing.

The look on his face as you tell him that you're sorry, and you can't do this anymore is enough to make you want to take it all back, to take him back, but you don't. You kiss him on the cheek, the act making your lips tingle, begging for more, before you turn to walk out the door. The door he once painted red for you and offered a room, a home. The door he had later covered with black when you broke his heart.

He stops you and apologizes, even though he doesn't really know what he's done. His blue eyes are pleading with you not to leave, not to let this be the end. You walk out anyway, your heart breaking just a little as you go.

You know you love him. And you know he loves you too, more than he could ever love Peyton. But everything is wrong and screwed up now, and this just isn't the right time for you.

xxxooooxxx

He walks you to the door and pauses when you get there, turning to face you, eyes questioning. He looks handsome in his suit, so much older than the boy you met two years ago. You're wearing the same color dress you did at that party at Nathan's house when you dared Peyton to kiss him and humiliated Haley, just for the fun of it. You've also grown, this dress isn't as slutty, it's more sophisticated and you know you left the party girl you once were behind the moment you had a real conversation with him. He showed you that you could be so much more and you wonder if you ever did that for him.

Tonight was supposed to be perfect; the day when you both realize you can't live without each other and that the time apart had made you even stronger. You had asked him out of loneliness, because Nick turned out to be such a jackass, and because you missed him. But he had been antsy, and you were paranoid, looking at Peyton constantly.

He's asking where you stand now, his voice ends on a hopeful note. You want to tell him that you want to get back together, that nothing would make you happier. That you haven't felt complete since you left him, that no one can make you feel the way he does. But you don't.

Friends. This leave you guys at good friends, is what you end up telling him. His face falls with disappointment, but it's quickly masked with a smile that he thinks you want to see and then he leaves you. You watch him leave this time, instead of the other way around, but still at your doing and your heart breaks just a little bit more.

You know you love him. And you know he loves you too, more than he could ever love Peyton. But he's confused, he doesn't know what he wants, and this isn't the right time for you.

Xxxxoooooxxxx

You watch, terrified, as the ball leaves his hands soaring towards the hoop. You remember the last time this happened; only a year ago but it seems so much longer. Then you hated him, you were so hurt that he could've kissed your best friend. Now, however, you're praying to a God you haven't addressed in years that the ball will go through the net and you can see a true smile on his face, the kind that has been missing for far too long.

It does, and he falls to the floor with happiness and you're laughing and screaming with the rest of the girls. You can't remember feeling this happy in a long time.

When you see him you run through the crowd to get to him. He hugs you and you don't want to let go. You say that it's a dream come true and he can't wipe off that smile as he looks at you. He looks so young and innocent when he smiles, and you wonder why he doesn't do it more often.

You turn and see Peyton standing alone, separated from the celebrations. Looking as lonely as you know she is, and has been for far too long. You look back at him and notice he's still staring at you, watching your every move with a longing that is impossible to ignore. You ask who he wants standing next to him. He glances at Peyton and before he can answer you tell him to go. He's surprised and sad, but you smile at him and encourage him to go to her. You know exactly what his answer would've been, and your whole body was begging you to let him say it, to fall into that sense of bliss that you always have when you're with him. But you didn't. Once again he walks away, pushed by you, and your heart breaks just a little bit more.

You know you love him. And you know he loves you too, more than he could ever love Peyton. But she's alone, and they need to give it a try to realize it's not right, and it's just not the right time for you.

Xxxxooooxxxx

He walks over to where you stand at the window, watching everyone as they laugh and drink and kiss for the last time as high-schoolers. Somehow he looks older now that he's graduated. You haven't had a real conversation with him in so long. His hair has gotten longer. You think it makes him look even more like Peyton, and less like the boy you dated, but you don't tell him that. Who knows, maybe that's what he wanted.

A book is handed to you, and you open it curiously, reading the part he instructs you. "She was fiercely independent, Brooke Davis. Brilliant, and beautiful, and brave. In two years she had grown more than anyone I had ever known. Brooke Davis is going to change the world someday. I'm not sure she even knows it." Your heart warms as you read those words, thawing from the cold you've felt since you walked out of his bedroom months ago. Doesn't he know that you've only grown because of him? And that you don't want to change the world, just be in his?

You're hugging him, his warm body pressed up close against yours. It makes you feel safe, secure, like the world isn't so screwed up, that maybe you have a chance to be happy. The warmth and happiness that floods through you when he touches you is foreign, and you want to cry because you never want to forget the feeling of being in his arms.

You're so close, you just want to reach up and kiss him, to forget about Chase, and Peyton, and how you've supposedly grown past this behavior, and think only of yourself, and your desires. But you don't.

Later that night you will find yourself, yet again, in a boy's back seat feeling only that you've regressed two years. You wish that you had given in to your selfish wishes. You stood next to him, watching everyone have the time of their lives below you, while you held in your feelings. As he held you, you realize that you're so close, but also so far, and your heart breaks just a little bit more.

You know you love him. And you know he loves you too, more than he could ever love Peyton. But they're still together, and they're happy, and it's just not the right time for you.

xxxoooxxxx

The next time you see him is at his wedding. He's standing at the altar in his tuxedo, looking beyond handsome. His hair is cut short again, like it was when you two were dating the second time, and his blue eyes danced with anticipation.

Peyton came out, looking beautiful as always, in a stunning white dress, and walked gracefully down the aisle. She had asked you to be her maid of honor, but had respectfully declined. You two had grown apart, she had new friends now, was the reason you gave yourself, and you would stick by that. Instead, you watched from one of the back rows, where you hoped he couldn't see you. You had considered not coming at all, but you knew deep down that you couldn't miss this.

They can't keep their eyes off of each other while the minister drones on. Haley and Nathan are both standing with them and their son, James, had been the ring bearer. Mouth stood next to Nathan, looking much more mature than you remembered him. The whole gang was up there, except you. And somehow it looked fitting without you. It would be a bit crowded with you squeezed in there. This thought causes tears to form in your perfectly made up eyes.

The minister asks whether Peyton will take his hand in marriage. She says I do of course, her voice wavering a little and sounding happier than you can ever remember her being.He's asking him now, and your breath is caught in your throat. He hesitates, and his eyes, those wonderful eyes, search the church until they land on you. He's watching you now, waiting for a sign, any sign, that you object. Your heart is screaming to stand up, to say something. But you don't. Instead you smile and nod, and he pauses a moment, and you think you detect a trace of disappointment, before he smiles back and says I do.

They run down the aisle and get in their limo to be rushed off to the reception where you know you won't be. You'll be on a plane back to New York, to drown your sorrows and forget this day ever happened. As you see him look back at you, just for a moment, you expect the now common feeling of your heart breaking in your chest. Nothing happens. You just feel cold now.

Because you know you love him. And you know he loves you, more than he could ever love Peyton. But you realize now, that he never knew that you loved him. And perhaps if you stopped waiting for the right time, the perfect time, you might not have missed it.

A/N- Thanks for reading, please leave a review even if you hated it. These reviews really make my day.


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